OMG, THEY ARE BACK!
by zwn
Summary: DUMBLEDORE? AND SIRIUS? AND, WTF? LILY AND JAMES! R&R : Oneshot..


_This is like, I dont know. But it's wierd. You just have to read to find out. But it will only take a couple of minutes, i swear! Yup, this is one, wierd fic. BUT READ IT! And review! (:  
**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING, everything is Rowlings and blah-blah-blah.**_

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H: OMFG! Dumbledore - who's dead by the way - is in my living room! He's dead, god damned!

D: Harry, I understand if this came as a shock to you, butt-

H: SHOCK? Is that what you think this is? Don't try to understand me! You're fucking dead!

L: Harry, not that kind of language!

H: -feminine shriek-

D: Oh, and Harry, your parents and Sirius are here too!

J: Hi, son!

S: Harry!

H: WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYONE WHO'S SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD, IN MY FLAT?

D: Harry, we never actually died! We are here-

H: Yea, 'cause I didn't noticed that.

D: We never died for real, it was kind of a wrinkle in time.

H: Uhu, aha, that's interesting. Wanna have a celebrating-the-dead-party?

D: Harry, I know this is a lot for you to take.

H: YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING, YOU'RE DEAD!

D: Harry, please, trust me. Or at least, let me explain?

H: Okay, but just because you kind of look like you're a nice person. BUT DON'T TRY TO FOOL ME, I know you are a big fake!

_Several minutes later:  
_H: A wrinkle in time? That's it? So you're actually saying you're the real Dumbledore?

D: Yes, Harry, I do, and I am.

H: Aha, then, what is your favourite flavour of jam?

D: Three years ago, about the time when I told you, I would have said raspberry. But since the day I found a finger in the jar, I just eat strawberry flavoured jam.

H: That's disgusting, professor.

D: Professor? So you do believe me, Harry?

H: Yes, sir.

D: You don't have to call me 'professor' or 'sir' now, Harry. I'm no longer your teacher.

H: If your Dumbledore, then you have to be..?

D: Yes, Harry, they are your parents.

S: Excuse me?

D: Oh, and I'm sorry, Sirius, of course.

H: Yes, I can see that you're serious, they're right here, aren't they?

D: That's true.

S: HE MEANT ME! SIRIUS! Aren't you happy to see me again, Harry?

H: I haven't missed you that much, you know, but okay. Hi again, Sirius.

S: Thank you.

H: After all, I did get your house.

J: He got your house?

S: Yea, who else?

J: So we don't have to live with him? YAY! High five, Lils!

Everyone e/J??

J: Jeez, you guys, I was only kidding! Not the right time, huh? Oh, sorry…

H: Okay, so if you are my real parents-

J: WE ARE!

H: Don't interrupt me maybe-fake-dad!

J: Sorry..

H: If you are my parents, you should be able to answer this: where do I have a scar?

J: On your forehead!

L: NO, you idiot! He meant the one on his knee! Or did you mean the one on your elbow?

H: Erh, both, actually, so, now when you're here; how did I get those scars?

L: Well, James wanted to take you flying - that's scar number one, and then he thought it would be a good idea holding you upside-down, jumping - that's scar number two.

J: It didn't seem dangerous when Sirius told me about it..

S: Hey, you've only your self to blame!

H: Dumbledore, when did you figure this all out? You know, this whole wrinkle-in-time-thing?

D: Actually, Harry, I've been suspecting it ever since they died. Although I wasn't sure until your sixth Hogwarts year.

H: And you didn't tell me? I'm shocked into my very soul!

D: Harry! I was going to tell you, but then I decided that it was better if I examined it myself first.

H: BY LETING SNAPE KILL YOU?

J: Snape? Severus Snape?

D: Harry, I know you don't like him, but he's not a deatheater.

H: Yea, right

D: Harry!

H: I know sir, I just don't - actually, I hate him.

J: Severus Snape?

D: You don't have to like him, but you have to accept that he's on our side.

J: SEVERUS SNAPE?

S: Yes, Prongs.

J: Then I'm with Harry on this one, Dumbledore.

H: Wait a minute! You knew they weren't dead, and you know you were not going to die?

D: That's right, Harry.

H: SO YOU JUST LEFT ME TO FIGHT VOLDEMORT ON MY OWN?

D: Harry, I taught you everything I knew about him!

H: BUT YOU FORCED ME INTO FIGHITNG HIM ALONE!

D: Harry, only you could have done it. And you did it by your self!

H: But still! You just left me, I was 17 years old, and you left me with all the other kids that didn't know a squat about anything! That's not fair! That's just weird, mean and cruel, you freak!

D: Harry, I'm sorry! But you did it, you killed him! I'm so proud of you!

H: That's right, I did! And you should be proud of me.

D: I am Harry! Can you forgive me?

H: I don't know, I'm really angry with you right know..

D: Harry, please?

H: Oh, okay then.

D: Thank you. You know, I almost thought you were going to punch me there for a while.

L: YOU LEFT HARRY SO HE HAD TO FIGHT VOLDEMORT BY HIMSELF? WHAT KIND OF PERSON ARE YOU? HE WAS JUST A KID, GOD DAMNED, AND YOU FORCED HIM TO KILL VOLDEMORT?

D: Lily, if I hadn't done it, then you guys couldn't have made it back here.

L: Oh, then its okay.

D: So no one's angry with me now?

S: No, I have no reason to be angry.

D: I know, I meant Lily, James and Harry.

S: WHAT? YOU DON'T THINK I'M IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO BE ANGRY, HUH? WELL, WATCH THIS, YOU OLD FOOL! I'M ANGRY WITH YOU! HAH!

H: Can everybody stop yelling? Its really annoying.

S: You started it..

H: Yea, but I'm not the one you just returned from the dead!

S, D, J, L: …

H: That shut you up, huh?

L: So.. You really killed Voldemort?

H: Yes.

J: How was it?

H: Okay.

L: Were you scared?

H: Little.

J: Was it hard?

H: Yes.

L: Did you get hurt?

H: Yes.

J: Bad?

H: Yes.

J: But you're okay now?

H: Yes.

L: Are you upset with us?

H: No.

J: Are you sure?

H: Yes.

J: Really sure?

H: Yes.

L: So we haven't done anything wrong?

H: Except returning from the dead without a warning? No.

J: So your not angry with us?

H: I am now.

D: I'm going to take off, I'll se you later, bye Harry!

Everyone e/D: Bye..

L: Harry?

H: Yes…mum?

L: Do you want a hug?

H: YES!

L: Oh, that's okay sweetheart, you can cry.

H: I LOVE YOU!

L: I LOVE YOU TOO!

S,J: …

H: -sob- I've missed you!

L: -sob- I've missed you too!!

S: So, what's with all the hugging?

J: I don't know...

S: You want one?

J: A hug?

S: Yes..

J: From you?

S: Yea..

J: Uhm, noo.

S: You know you want it..

J: Screw it! I LOVE YOU!

S: I LOVE YOU TOO!

J: AND I LOVE YOU, LILY, AND YOU HARRY!

H: AND I LOVE EVERYBODY!

S: SO DO I!

L: AND I!

J: grouphug?

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_Fin._


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